Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Living Life

Just living life here.  After a Crazy January in which there was no sense of normalcy February finally came and the opportunity begin structuring a life in which I am working.  So one month into my new life I thought t I would give a report.

I also have to confess I like working. I might say I love working but I don't know if you can really love it. I have enjoyed watching the little bit of money I make add up in my savings account and feel like I am able to help when it is needed. I only work 2 days a week which has been perfect and Isabelle is doing well at her after school locations. I actually think my work days have been easier to transition into than my at home days. They are nice and structured. I don't have to put a lot of expectations on myself those days. I simply go to work, work, get Isabelle, go home and make dinner. Anything I do beyond that is bonus and usually I manage a few bonus activities.

So far I like my job.  I don't love it, I am not finding it particularly challenging, but I do like it and I am still learning.  I can see myself there for a long time, sometimes I see myself launching into a career in insurance.  Of course sometimes I see my very soul getting sucked out in a career in insurance so we will have to just see where God leads.

My at home days are still hard to define.  I want to just spend all the time in selfish activities but my little girl is constantly asking for activity.  She wants to spend one afternoon swimming, one at the library and...I forget the 3rd activity.  Anyway, the bottom line is that she would like my non work days to have structure like my work days.  Well maybe not structure but activity or play dates or SOMETHING.  I figure it probably isn't too much to ask that I actually interact with her in the afternoons for a little while and so we have been trying to keep busy.  The pool at the Y closed for remodeling so now that activity is lost but she got LOTS of craft kits for her birthday which should pick up the slack.

Here is the thing about my mornings when she is at school, I don't want to structure them so that I can do whatever needs to be done during that time but then I end up feeling like I did nothing and being frustrated that I wasted my 3 hours.  I have a hard time giving myself structure.  It isn't that I don't have anything to do in the mornings.  I would say it is more that I have too much to do and I want to try to do everything.  Then I don't want to stop when Isabelle gets home even though I am not really doing anything that couldn't wait an hour or so until we are done playing.

So I am still perfecting my at home days.  I am concentrating on Isabelle activities and spending time with God. I figure everything else will fall into place behind those 2 things.  Really isn't life just a series of adjustments as we attempt to move toward perfection?  And Just when I perfect my winter/spring schedule summer will come and I will have to figure it out all over again.

1 comment:

  1. Try striving for excellence rather than perfection. "Perfect" is a frustrating, impossible goal.