Isn't she cute

I have been doing some posting over at my SIL's weight loss blog lately and all my deep thoughts are over there. However, I didn't want to totally forget this one. Here are a couple cute things my darling said this weekend.

Saturday afternoon she walks downstairs where her brother is playing video games and says, "Jake, it is lunch time, I am dressed, mom is dressed and look at you, you are still in your pajamas". Where do they come up with these things? I am sure I have never said anything like that...

Sunday they celebrated St. Nicholas Day at church by having the kids leave their shoes out and putting a few chocolate gold coins in them. At home later she tells me it is the best day of her life. When I ask why she says, "Because...Church?...I got candy...in my shoe..." Oh if every best day was that simple to come by.

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Oh Christmas Tree

(a preview of our Christmas picture)

I have started following the blog of Jill Savage who is the founder of Hearts at Home. She is doing a week of contests. Today she is having us answer the question, "How does your personality show up in your Christmas tree? What an excellent question. :)

My Christmas tree is one of those trees with an bit of an eclectic theme.

When we were first married we had on old fake tree from my parents which we decorated with colored lights just like my parents and then put on colored balls which my mom passed on to me because she was done with them and then finally we added a small handful of personalized ornaments we had either taken from our parents or bought that year. This is the 20th tree we have decorated as a family, we have made a few changes since that first tree.

Several years ago I decided I liked the simple elegance of all white lights on a tree rather than the colored bulbs. Then a couple years ago we bought a pre-lit tree with all white lights which has revolutionized the Christmas decorating experience.

My mom always made us fill the tree with red balls before we could put the "fun" ornaments on. After following this same pattern for several years I realized that I didn't need to do that and so now we only put "fun" ornaments on our tree.

I must admit that I LOVE themed trees. They are so beautiful and have all this continuity throughout them. I love the colors and I love big ornaments. One year, the year we bought our pre-lit tree, I thought I wanted to go with a woodsy theme for my tree and my lower level so we chose a tree that has pine cones attached to various branches. I bought a few north woods type ornaments and some red and black plaid ribbon to finish it off. It was lovely for a few years but I never did decorate my basement in a north woods theme, only set up the tree down there once anyway and quickly got bored with the theme. In the end the theme that never fails me is the traditional red and green theme throughout my house.
(The inspiration for my never fail red and green theme, started by my parents when I was 5)

This year I didn't even decorate the tree. I was busy with all the other accessories of Christmas and delegated the job to my very enthusiastic 4 year old and her willing, although not quite as enthusiastic, teenage brother who did a fantastic job. I didn't even feel the need to re-distribute to balance it out.




So how does my personality come through in my tree? I would say that it is ever changing and growing. Not afraid to try new things but always staying grounded in the traditions of my childhood.
(Posed since, remember, I did not actually decorate the tree this year.)

The New Testament

My grandfather was a man of faith. He loved the Lord and loved to share it with others. He often carried a small New Testament in his shirt pocket to read or share with others. After his death it was the one item my Aunt Pauline really wanted.

This weekend I was talking with her and she shared with me that after having it for several years she felt led to give to a young man from her church who was going over to Iraq. She wanted him to be able to carry the Word with him wherever he went. She then shared with me that the young man had returned but had left the little Bible for another soldier still over fighting in the war. I felt certain that was exactly what Grandpa would have wanted to see happen to his little New Testament.

I can't stop thinking about it. How beautiful to think of Grandpa's little bible ministering to someone on the other side of the world. Once upon a time Grandpa was on the other side of the world in a war and there were men there to encourage his growing faith. Now it sort of feels like Grandpa is over in Iraq returning the gift he was given to a new generation of soldiers.

It has also made me think of all the bibles I have here at home. My childhood bibles, gift bibles, various versions of the bible. I really only ever look at one or two of them. The rest I keep for sentimental reasons. Yet that is not the point of the Bible. It isn't just a book to keep on a shelf and remind me of a person or time in my life. It is God's Word. "The word of God is living and active" (Heb 4:12). It doesn't want to sit on a shelf. It wants to be out in the world speaking to people, traveling from place to place. It wants to journey with us as we live our lives.

I have purged several books this year from my shelves but not the bibles. Maybe it is time to make a little more room on the bookshelves by sharing God's word with someone who really needs it.

The Thankful reveal on Thanksgiving

I know all my blog readers (both of them) have anxiously been awaiting the reveal of my fabulous birthday present. It took a little longer than anticipated to finish it and we still have not finished the painting. As with all projects it is good to double the time you expect it to take. If we do that I really have another 2 weeks and this project should be done ahead of schedule. ha ha.

I am giving you a strange combination of project reveal and Thanksgiving post here since the project was christened yesterday.

First I present the BEFORE pictures:



My lovely kitchen/dining room wall. The many cabinet doors in which to store dishes and other kitchen needs.

DURING:





watching daddy
The end of day one. My new open kitchen.

John worked all last weekend on the project and by the evening of my birthay I had lights, a new power bar and trim on one side.




Of course into every project a minor problem must fall. So Tuesday night we begin painting the fabulous new color I chose for the walls. A very dark dramatic color with a green tint. The color was gorgeous on the wall. Unfortunately it looked TERRIBLE against my green cabinets. It was the war of the cool color vs the warm color. I was devestated. John finally told me to walk away from the room as I was becoming more depressed the longer I sat staring at it.

I had no idea which direction to go from there. I am terrible at choosing colors. I need an expert. Contractor husband to the rescue! John called a guy he is working with and asked him to swing by our house and choose a new color for us. I would never have chosen it and wasn't even sure I liked it but that is sort of how I felt about our cabinet color when it was chosen for us. Plus, I was having a house full of guests in 1 day and didn't have alot of options so, when John called from Home Depot I gave him the name.

I started painting with a little uncertainty but by the time we had the first coat on all the walls I felt really good about it and now I am excited to spend the next few years looking at it. The color is much greener than I had initially wanted to go but is still dramatic and is beautiful with my cabinets.

The big reveal was yesterday, Thanksgiving, and it performed perfectly. It was so nice to have that extra counter space while preparing and then while serving the meal. And when we went in the kitchen to clean up we didn't seperate ourselves from conversation around the table. We could shoo people out of the kitchen without really sending them away. It was one of my favorite Thanksgivings in a long time...do you think it was because of the new wall? Everyone was in a relaxed good mood because of the beauty of my new wall. It just makes people want to be better people because it is so wonderful. Don't you think?

My men preparing Thanksgiving dinner. I actually did not make a single part of yesterdays meal. Note the new wall color in the background.
Grandma learning a few things from Isabelle.
Cousins. It is so fun that they are all the same age and actually have some very similar interests.

Here are my neices speaking to each other in sign language. Note how functional my new wall is in the background. :)
I set a simple but beautiful table.
Instead of a kids table the kids chose a side of the table and were all lined up long before we were ready to start eating.
I bought a new puzzle for the holiday and every member of the family spent some time working on the 1000 piece puzzle. It was so fun, a shared project just makes you feel like you really spent time together.

And so after a busy couple weeks of construction, with a few days to go, and a wonderful time spent with family I can say that I am thankful for many things including:

A handy husband,
a son (and husband) who likes to cook,
a daughter who can entertain herself all afternoon while I sit in front of a puzzle,
being part of a wonderful family full of faith,
and my beautiful new wall which is sure to bring me joy for years to come.

The not so big 3-9

Tomorrow I turn 39. Really 39 not "and holding" or "forever 39". I will not be staying put, I will gladly move to 40 next year. I enjoy aging, it gives legitimacy to all my bossiness. Ha ha. Anyway...This age has me thinking about 40. I remember when John and I were in our mid 20's and 40 seemed like a life time away. We would talk about goals and say, "by the time we are 40 we will...". With so much time to accomplish whatever followed how could we not reach that goal? All the big things in life fell into this category.

So that has me thinking about some of those things we wanted to accomplish, what can I still do in the next year (or 6 months for John), what have we already accomplished and what do we need to move into our new "by the time we retire..." conversations.

What we didn't accomplish...

Pay off our house. We moved into this house 7 years ago and owe twice as much as we did when we dreamed that dream. Clearly moved backward on this goal but have a plan and will definitely own by the time we retire.

Buy a cabin. If you live or grew up in MN this is likely on your dream list. Considering the prices and responsibilities of cabin ownership we have gone back and forth about this and made some modifications to this dream. None-the-less we still dream it and have moved it into the "in our 40's" conversation.

Be able to pay for Jake's college. Now technically Jake has 2 years left of school and we will be 41 when he graduates but the goal should be in reach by the time we are 40. I like to think we have enough to get him through a couple years at community college but if we don't see alot of excitement in the stock market soon I am not even sure of that. I always thought I would just get a job when Jake graduated but then our little mid-life crisis came along and I will be busy with a 1st grader as Jake graduates and not likely to want a job to pay for his college. We are abandoning our poor son to the world of scholarships, grants, public education and a job. (we are discouraging loans in favor the 7-10 year graduation plan.) Actually he is planning to get into ROTC so we are good. That will be like we accomplished the goal only the government will pay for it. Which I guess is still us...

Could still accomplish by 40...

The non-specific "financial stability". (I didn't say we had made well thought out, clearly defined goals) While our 30's started off in the right direction somehow, even before this unfortunate economic time, we got off the path somewhere. John's work that was going great seemed to get derailed for a time during what I call the "mid-life crisis" of his career which ironically occurred amidst adopting the mid-life crisis. Now finally doing something he enjoys and is doing well at I can actually see a light at the end of the tunnel. Plus we took a personal finance class a couple years ago so we now actually know how to accomplish our goals and have set some specific ones. If we stay focused I feel confident that I will be able to check parts of this one off by this time next year.

Things we can check off the list...

Go to Africa. Actually this goal was "before Jake graduates", another defined time frame we didn't think would ever come. This one goes with "travel more". Although I wouldn't say we have done a ton of traveling over the years, unless you count visiting my sister in Atlanta probably 20+ times, we have done a few things and definitely with this trip have seen the vision for prioritizing travel/vacation in our lives. Already I am thinking of a trip to France "before Isabelle graduates from high school". Will that day every come?

So in conclusion...I am a goal setting nerd that actually finds all this really fun, exciting and motivating, even the stuff I didn't accomplish. I am excited for this next decade of my life. But more than just another decade it is another whole stage. If I am now in "the stage before 40" then next year I will enter "the stage before retirement". So this next year as I am 39 and enjoying these last years of early adulthood I will be busy getting my life in order to launch into my retirement planning years with gusto. Yes I am weird, move on.

Interestingly as I look at the list I see that so many of our dreamas have been financial. While most big goals do require money I am thinking that maybe I should work on some non-financial goals for my retirement. How about...Run/walk a marathon, this is one I am considering for my 40th birthday. Have a greater understanding of theology and various biblical philospophies. Write a book or magazine article or...something, get published. Encourage other women. Learn and grow, stay open to the plans God has for my life. Give more.

There is one more thing that we can check off my dream list, phase one of a very fun remodel project at our house. Tomorrow or Monday will be the big reveal of something very exciting that has been going on at our house. John is working hard today to finish up my birthday present. Can't wait to show you! I love being married to a remodeler! OK, you want a hint. Here are a couple peaks...




And here is the color I am painting the walls...Painted Turtle.

4 year old hormones

I have had a long week with Isabelle. Not that she isn't normally emotional, I am learning to accept this as a part of having a daughter, but it has been exceptionally bad this week and particularly today. As I put her to bed tonight even she commented on the fact that she had been having "a rough day". Yes indeedy she had been.

It started off fairly normal and so I didn't note the usual break downs that go with getting out of the house in the morning and we managed to have a fairly pleasant lunch with my parents (a pre birthday celebration since they will be out of town. I blessed them with a preview of my fabulous birthday present which I will reveal here this weekend.)

Then in the afternoon while spending a little time on my computer hanging out with her friends the Disney princesses she drops some pencil lead she found while rifling through my desk drawers into my keyboard and proceeds to pop off about 7 keys before I came upon this little scenario. I calmly asked her to get off the chair and step away from my computer and then proceeded to calmly assess the damage. She tells me it is an accident and then asks me if I am mad at her. Yes I tell her I am mad at her. Crying and carrying on occurs and she goes to her room for quite a long time. Now you might think it is remorse she is feeling but no in fact she is indignant that I would dare to be mad at her when it was an "accident". Eventually she comes out all red faced and we talk about it and she does seem to understand that she was wrong and apologize. In case you are wondering I did get a couple to pop back on but every time I type a B or V I have to put in a little more effort while J and and Alt key are completely unattached. Which actually seem to work better at times than the loose keys. My husband assures me he will be able to fix it.



Tonight as we are leaving for church she tries to race her 15 year old brother to the car and when he does not let her win I find her crying in the backyard. Move on with your life girlfriend he is 10 years older. Life isn't fair. It won't be the last time you loose. Losing is part of life. And so on as we are pulling out of the driveway toward church. I also made her congratulate Jake for a job well done beating her to the car. I am exhausted from a day of managing her emotions.

I relax briefly during the dinner the church serve while she plays with a friend. When it is time to go the friends mom calls and her daughter obediently comes while Isabelle throws herself on the floor crying because Emily didn't wait for her and she wants to keep playing with Emily and on and on and on. Once I get her moving she then DEMANDS I give her my bottle of water. The only reason I brought her to her class is because I really felt I needed my hour and a half praying with friends tonight. When I returned to pick her up my daughter who charms everyone she meets and so was wonderful during class, immediately started crying because she didn't want to go with me. After a few minutes of sympathetic chatting with the class leaders about having an emotional girl I was able to get her out without too much drama and get home.

More drama into bed where she was apparently feeling my pain as she acknowledged what a rough day she was having. She cried herself to sleep for reasons only she is aware of.

As I have had a few moments spread throughout the day to think about this behavior and how to deal with it and why I feel so overwhelmed by it when I felt so energized by Jake's bad pre-school behavior, I had a thought. It isn't that I can't deal with her impulsive behavior like popping off the keys on my keyboard. It isn't that I don't know how to deal with her selfishness or her sometimes unrepentant heart or her impatience or her competitiveness or her need for control, her bossiness, her demands, her smart mouth and the many other character and behavior issues that come up throughout a day or week. The problem I realized, the thing that is overwhelming me and keeping me frozen in my tracks, is the fact that so many of these issues come up in one day, sometimes in one sitting. How do I put a plan together to deal with every one of these issues?

My revelation is that it isn't one issue, it is many issues. And I can't come up with a plan for all of them but I need to take each one as it comes. As I think of it there are a few behavior themes that I could be thinking on but I guess with an emotional little girl the trick will be to not get stuck in one place but to be ready to switch gears and move from issue to issue. Luckily as a woman I am somewhat familiar with experiencing various emotions from moment to moment without clutching so I am well equipped to handle this parenting challenge. Do you think God planned it that way?

Tinkerbell

Isabelle and I had the opportunity to preview the new Tinkerbell movie for free the weekend before the video came out. I love free stuff but I don't always love sitting through kids movies. While this movie wasn't the best I had ever seen it kept moving and wasn't too long. The reason I am writing about it is because the lessons I saw in the movie have stuck with me.

When I was little it seems like every movie or TV show had a moral lesson. Something I was supposed to learn from it. As I have raised my children I see fewer and fewer lessons in what they are watching and more and more just pure entertainment. Not that I mind a little entertainment every once in a while but it is refreshing to see a lesson in a movie, especially one that really applies to my daughters stage of life.

In the movie Tinker Bell is chosen to make the fall scepter, a big honor, and her best buddy is there to help her all the way. She is clipping along but is getting increasingly frustrated by the help she is getting and makes up an errand to get rid of him. He returns just as she has finished the scepter, she is immediately irritated by him, the thing he returns with rolls away and breaks the scepter. After he leaves she is fuming and accidentally breaks the rare and important crystal that is supposed to go inside the scepter. She blames her friend who is not even in the room. She tells nobody what has happened and sets off on an adventure to find another crystal and as problems arise from this adventure there is always someone else to blame. In the end when all hope seems lost she sits alone and finally takes responsibility for everything that has gone wrong and realizes she was so busy trying to do everything herself that she missed the opportunity to get help from people who cared about her.

At our house blaming others, usually me, for everything that goes wrong is a big theme in Isabelle's life. She has been known to come out of her room at night to announce to me, "YOU forgot my blanket!" If I am making her walk rather than carry her and she decides to drag her feet and trip that is my fault. If she drops something she wants to give me it is my fault. But not just me, if she colors outside the lines that would be a bad marker. bad paint, bad toy, bad food, bad bed. Everything else is constantly doing her wrong. How great is my life to have a movie like tinker bell to help me illustrate the point that maybe everything isn't someone else's fault and maybe if you would accept a little help and responsibility things wouldn't go so wrong all the time.

Now in all fairness I MIGHT occasionally have a problem with this issue as well. I might want to blame my husband, my children or my mom for things that go wrong in my life. It is SO much easier than taking responsibility. Who wants to acknowledge that they messed up? That they didn't communicate properly and that is why the other person didn't measure up. That my mistake started a chain reaction. It is always so easy to see where the other person went wrong and so much harder to see how we were part of that poor end result. So much easier to be mad at someone else than mad at ourselves.

But I have found that when I admit my mistakes and am willing to look honestly at a situation seeing my role in a problem, I really feel better about it and often can see the resolution to the problem much quicker than when I focus on blaming others. And in learning to see my own faults and forgive myself I am becoming much more forgiving of others faults. We are a sinful people living in a fallen world. We make wrong choices, make mistakes and hurt those we love. But if Christ can forgive me when it really never was his fault, then certainly I can see to forgive others when tomorrow I will probably make the same mistake.

Amazing, I found the lesson of Christ's forgiveness in a Disney movie. Life is good.