A Birthday Tea with Grandma

My newly retired parents are preparing to spend the remainder of the winter in the warmth and comfort of Florida.  They will be gone for almost 3 months during which Isabelle will turn 5.  Not wanting to miss an opportunity to give many gifts, my mom took Isabelle and I out for a fancy tea at a nearby Arboretum as an early celebration.  It was lovely and Isabelle was definately the hit of the room in her party clothes, her excitement each time we let her open another of her 4 gifts from Grandma and daintily pouring herself tea.  A man even came and sang her happy birthday.

Grandma and Isabelle

I brought our tea hats to wear.  Grandma seemed embarassed and wanted to take it off as soon as the picture was taken but what is a tea without a fun hat?

Enjoying her Madame Alexander Fancy Nancy Doll.  Grandma really knows how to spoil.

Pouring her own tea perfectly.  Fingers holding the lid on and all.  Just add lots of milk and sugar and a few ice cubes and you have her perfect combination.

They brought he a special Happy Birthday cup to drink from.

The not so big 3-9

Tomorrow I turn 39. Really 39 not "and holding" or "forever 39". I will not be staying put, I will gladly move to 40 next year. I enjoy aging, it gives legitimacy to all my bossiness. Ha ha. Anyway...This age has me thinking about 40. I remember when John and I were in our mid 20's and 40 seemed like a life time away. We would talk about goals and say, "by the time we are 40 we will...". With so much time to accomplish whatever followed how could we not reach that goal? All the big things in life fell into this category.

So that has me thinking about some of those things we wanted to accomplish, what can I still do in the next year (or 6 months for John), what have we already accomplished and what do we need to move into our new "by the time we retire..." conversations.

What we didn't accomplish...

Pay off our house. We moved into this house 7 years ago and owe twice as much as we did when we dreamed that dream. Clearly moved backward on this goal but have a plan and will definitely own by the time we retire.

Buy a cabin. If you live or grew up in MN this is likely on your dream list. Considering the prices and responsibilities of cabin ownership we have gone back and forth about this and made some modifications to this dream. None-the-less we still dream it and have moved it into the "in our 40's" conversation.

Be able to pay for Jake's college. Now technically Jake has 2 years left of school and we will be 41 when he graduates but the goal should be in reach by the time we are 40. I like to think we have enough to get him through a couple years at community college but if we don't see alot of excitement in the stock market soon I am not even sure of that. I always thought I would just get a job when Jake graduated but then our little mid-life crisis came along and I will be busy with a 1st grader as Jake graduates and not likely to want a job to pay for his college. We are abandoning our poor son to the world of scholarships, grants, public education and a job. (we are discouraging loans in favor the 7-10 year graduation plan.) Actually he is planning to get into ROTC so we are good. That will be like we accomplished the goal only the government will pay for it. Which I guess is still us...

Could still accomplish by 40...

The non-specific "financial stability". (I didn't say we had made well thought out, clearly defined goals) While our 30's started off in the right direction somehow, even before this unfortunate economic time, we got off the path somewhere. John's work that was going great seemed to get derailed for a time during what I call the "mid-life crisis" of his career which ironically occurred amidst adopting the mid-life crisis. Now finally doing something he enjoys and is doing well at I can actually see a light at the end of the tunnel. Plus we took a personal finance class a couple years ago so we now actually know how to accomplish our goals and have set some specific ones. If we stay focused I feel confident that I will be able to check parts of this one off by this time next year.

Things we can check off the list...

Go to Africa. Actually this goal was "before Jake graduates", another defined time frame we didn't think would ever come. This one goes with "travel more". Although I wouldn't say we have done a ton of traveling over the years, unless you count visiting my sister in Atlanta probably 20+ times, we have done a few things and definitely with this trip have seen the vision for prioritizing travel/vacation in our lives. Already I am thinking of a trip to France "before Isabelle graduates from high school". Will that day every come?

So in conclusion...I am a goal setting nerd that actually finds all this really fun, exciting and motivating, even the stuff I didn't accomplish. I am excited for this next decade of my life. But more than just another decade it is another whole stage. If I am now in "the stage before 40" then next year I will enter "the stage before retirement". So this next year as I am 39 and enjoying these last years of early adulthood I will be busy getting my life in order to launch into my retirement planning years with gusto. Yes I am weird, move on.

Interestingly as I look at the list I see that so many of our dreamas have been financial. While most big goals do require money I am thinking that maybe I should work on some non-financial goals for my retirement. How about...Run/walk a marathon, this is one I am considering for my 40th birthday. Have a greater understanding of theology and various biblical philospophies. Write a book or magazine article or...something, get published. Encourage other women. Learn and grow, stay open to the plans God has for my life. Give more.

There is one more thing that we can check off my dream list, phase one of a very fun remodel project at our house. Tomorrow or Monday will be the big reveal of something very exciting that has been going on at our house. John is working hard today to finish up my birthday present. Can't wait to show you! I love being married to a remodeler! OK, you want a hint. Here are a couple peaks...




And here is the color I am painting the walls...Painted Turtle.

15 years old

Sunday was Jake's 15th birthday. He is a special boy and I am so proud of him as he grows into a man. I can't believe it was 15 years ago that I became a mother. It has been a crazy journey. Let's see, some high points:

I remember in the delivery room them putting him directly on me after cutting the cord. Although I have never told anyone this before my immediate thought was that it was gross to have this slimy child put on me. But then I immediately realized this was my slimy child that I had just pushed out of my body and I really didn't care. My other immediate thought (alot goes through your mind at that moment) was that he looked exactly like John, a fact that has not changed a bit in 15 years. i also remember feeling that somehow all that labor and the baby were unconnected. I still can't believe he came out of my body and still think it is crazy when I see a pregnant person that a baby is actually in there.

John called my mom at work to tell her he was born and she was shocked since we didn't call anyone to tell them we were in labor. I went into labor at 2am and we didn't want to wake anyone. He was born at 8:20am so by the time people were getting up we were a little busy.

My good friend Kim was the first person to come see us in the hospital. She didn't have a car so called around until she found someone that would give her a ride. I was just getting to know Cammi at that point but she became a good friend that I still know today.

I didn't read a single page on parenting or what you needed to do with a child after they are born. I had decided to breast feed but had read nothing about that either. I didn't really know what to do and was waiting for someone to tell me it was time to feed him. Finally around 5pm I asked one of the nurses if I should feed him. She freaked out that I hadn't fed him yet. I have since learned that babies can go quite a while after birth without eating (I feel I read 2 days somewhere) so it really wasn't a big deal but I definitely felt like I wasn't starting this parent thing off on the right foot.

Somehow we managed to leave the hospital with this little baby and nobody stopped us. We brought him home and have been busy trying to raise him to be a godly man. It has been challenging at times, entertaining frequently but most of the time I just find it to be a privilidge to have been given this amazing gift from God and to be part of his life.

So this Sunday we had a party. A theme of Jake's life. I kept asking him how many were coming. Last update said 15 kids were coming. We went to the store and bought burgers, pop and chips for 15 kids. 20 kids came. The miracle of the fishes and loaves occurred as I watched boy after boy walk by with 2 burgers on his plate knowing that we only made 24 burgers. I did also make a package of hot dogs which found in the fridge. Somehow when all was said and done everyone ate. Really I am learning that the kids don't come for my food, they come for each other. Isabelle started a game of duck, duck, grey duck but we had to remove her from the situation when it was her turn every other time. After that they played Red Rover and she was able to get back in the game. We had a bon fire without any homework smoking. One of his friends brought a guitar and there was some singing which was entertaining. Finally the girls went home around 11pm and the party really started. 10 boys stayed all night playing the 4 x-box 360s that were brought and networked together. Keep in mind we do not have an x-box so Jake managed to recruit all the x-boxes and one of his friends even brought a tv! There were 4 stations spread across our lower level family room and spilling into Jake's room. I am told they were up until 6am playing. I went downstairs to have a peak the next morning and have determined that 15 year old boys have rubber bones. One of his friends was sitting in a chair and simply slumped over the side. Another was curled up on our wicker settee, something that is not really that comfy to sit in. And on the other side of the room was Jake's bedroom with a lovely double bed that not a single boy thought to commandeer.

A couple pictures of my sweet boy:





The Party Pictures:

Jake's friend Jaxon brought his electric guitar.


Hanging out in the yard:











They wanted to put the cake in Jake's face but we gave them a plate of Redi-Whip instead. Good times.





They took a walk to the park. Note Isabelle going along as a chaperone. Eric (pulling wagon) ran her home at one point to go to the bathroom. I told him he didn't have to bring her back with him but he did anyway. Jake's friends are as great with her as he is.


Jake and Britta laying on the slides at the park:

Isabelle's 4th Birthday

Yesterday was Isabelle's 4th birthday. I was thinking last night that 4 years ago Isabelle still wasn't mine. I wasn't in a hospital 4 years ago having my labor induced, having contractions, getting an epidural, pushing out a precious 7 pound 15 ounce little girl. My labor experience was entirely different. I went to bed that night in my own bed as usual and slept the usual 8 hours, same with the night after that. It wasn't until Isabelle's 3rd night that my sleep was interrupted and it was quite some time before I slept 8 hours again.

The night she was born I was sitting in the living room at my parents house with my husband and son, parents, brother and sister-in-law and their kids. We were making small talk about the new townhouse my parents bought and the impending move from the home they had been living in for 25 years. I thought about the fact that Isabelle would never know my childhood home. And as we were chatting my cell phone was sitting on the coffee table in front of us and we were all staring at it waiting for it to ring, waiting for our social worker to call and tell us our precious daughter had been born. When the phone finally rang she only told us that Isabelle was born and doing well but that Sam, the birth father, wanted to tell us the details. We quickly called him to hear all about the birth and everything that had gone on. He made a joke about the fact that she was indeed a girl and we wouldn't have to make a panic trip to the paint store to cover up the pink room we had created. We asked him if he would take a picture with his phone so we could see her that night and he said there were lots of cameras and they would send us lots of pictures. We raced home to see many precious pictures of our little girl.



She was a blob. A little face poking out of a blanket. The pictures are precious to me today but that night as I looked at the red blob of a child that I did not know and did not yet love I cried. I wanted to have that instant love I had with Jake at the sight of the picture and I didn't. And even though I knew I would love her, the emotions of the experience overtook me and I cried the night my daughter was born.

The next day was another day to watch the phone. 4 years ago today we were at Jake's school for History Day and waiting to find out if we could go see her in the hospital. Finally that night we were able to go meet our little girl in person, to hold her and touch her, feed her and hear her voice. She was and is a miracle. Sam and Lauren were so excited to introduce her to us. We were so amazed by their strength and maturity in the situation at such a young age. The had complete confidence in the decision they had made. Isabelle was adorable, amazing and beautiful, and my love affair with her began.



Finally on March 5th, 4 years ago, we went to the hospital again to bring home our little girl. That day Sam and Lauren were both red faced, they had spent the morning saying good bye to their daughter so that we could say hello to our daughter. We shared an Entrustment Ceremony together. We promised to raise her and love her and be godly parents to love, protect, support and nurture her. We all vowed to work together to develop a relationship that would give Isabelle a sense of identity and to know that she is loved by all her parents. Then we gave them a hug, loaded Isabelle in her car seat and left the hospital. We had about an hour or so after we got home before we were descended upon by family who were as excited as we were to at long last be bringing home the child we had desired for so many years.



And now she is 4 YEARS OLD! It has been an amazing journey. We love her with every part of our being. I am not a big baby person, we wanted another child but I was nervous about doing all the baby stuff again, and it was hard. I kept saying, "We just have to get to 4 and then it will be fine." I knew it would go fast but it has just flown by. And true to my word I am enjoying her so much as we enter 4. The tantrums are almost over and the fun learning stage of her life has begun. I am enjoying my time with her and thinking through how I can continue to nurture her and guide her to become the godly woman I have been praying for her to become as she grows.