Last night I didn't want to make dinner. Not a new phenomenon in my life but none the less I didn't want to do it. Since my new resolve to make dinner at home every night I am learning to force myself to get up and do it anyway.
Most mornings I wake up not wanting to exercise. I tell myself I don't have to go work out. I can skip today. I love how I feel after a workout but I would just really like to be fit while sitting on my butt doing as little as possible. Usually I get dressed and walk out the door at the last minute.
Sometimes I don't want to clean the house, keep track of our money or any number of other activities and duties in my life. Sometimes people ask me to rise above, to plan events at church or lead ministries. Recently I agreed to be one of the speakers at our women's retreat. I often wonder why I do these things and feel I am not competent for the tasks before me.
I tell John when I don't want to do something, share all my crazy insecurities. He is used to it. He listens and encourages me. I also have learned to tell myself I can do it, so sometimes all he has to do is listen and validate my own pep talk to myself.
Other times John expresses his insecurities or doubts about his ability to perform whatever task is before him and I get to give him a pep talk. We are there for each other.
Inevitably at some point in the pep talk one of us wil begin the positive self talk, "I can do it", "it is all good", etc. and from there it never fails to step right into an old SNL sketch of Stuart Smalley saying, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" Often we mess up the quote, I am famous for mis-quoting songs and movies, but it doesn't matter because it always makes us laugh and gives us just the energy we need to keep moving forward.