Thursday, September 12, 2013

I am a Future Mother-In-Law

When you are this cute of a couple

Do you have any choice but to get engaged?

My son got engaged last week to his girlfriend of 3+ years.

It wasn't a surprise.  For her, or me or anyone they knew.  Just like John drove out to Virginia, where I was going to school, to give me an engagement ring, Jake flew out to Boston, where Jade is going to school, to give her a ring.  And just like everyone in our lives saw my engagement ring before me, we had all seen Jade's ring before her.

However, unlike John, who during a commercial break turned to me and said, "here, want this?",  Jake managed to plan something a little more romantic.  Could it be because his dad said to him, "For the Love of God, DO NOT say, 'here want this.'"! Apparently it is the sort of thing that is hard to live down.

Jake went with a plan.  A gondola ride in Boston, a message in a bottle slipped into the water for her to find as they are floating along and a ring presented on one knee.  I wasn't there (obviously) but it sounds very sweet.  And she said yes.

So now I am a future mother-in-law.  The journey here has been a bit of a challenge.  I have had my concerns at times with this relationship.  But when Jake left for Boston with a ring in his pocket I was able to tell him with all honesty that I was excited for him.  Excited for them.  Excited to welcome Jade into our family.

So I am a future mother-in-law.  Hmm, well, what is that like?  

Naomi was the mother-in-law of Ruth.  After her husband and son (Ruth's husband) died, she told everyone to call her "bitter" and for Ruth to leave, go save herself.   Not sure this is the mother-in-law model I am looking for. (Although Ruth comes off well if Jade is looking for a daughter-in-law example.) 

Peter's mother-in-law died but then Jesus brought her back to life and she immediately began serving dinner.  That might be a better example but let me be honest...if I have a near death experience, am sick or just have a long day, I am not going to get up a serve anyone.  I am going to ask someone to order a pizza and lay down on the couch.

Who else you got?  

How about my mother-in-law, John's mom?  She is a pretty good example.  I mean sometimes she annoys me, says weird things.  Sometimes I look at John's whole family and wonder what on earth they are thinking.  I mean, that is not the way my family would do it.  But sometimes my own mom annoys me, says weird things and makes me wonder what on earth she could be thinking.  So really, pretty normal.  

I don't think I appreciated my mother-in-law and our great relationship until Jake started talking about getting married.  I never appreciated how hard it is to be a mother-in-law.  Hard to keep your mouth shut (really, really hard for me because I like to share every thought I have.)  Hard to trust someone else to take care of your baby.  Especially at a young age.  John's mom did it with grace.  And whenever she would say or do something that bugged me I would just remind myself that she loved me, is not trying to hurt me and maybe I was over-reacting.  And maybe, just maybe, I said and did a few annoying things in the early years of our relationship and marriage too.  Unlikely but I throw it out there...

So I am a future mother-in-law.  And I am excited.  Now that the detail of the proposal is take care of we are on to more important questions.  Like, what color should my dress be?  What should I serve at the grooms dinner?  And, will I get invited to go dress shopping???? (pleeeeeease).

Congratulations Jake and Jade.  I love you both.  Welcome to the family Jade.

(I've been saving this one since last Christmas. Today seemed like the right day to bring it out.)

1 comment: