I'm Bored

I am bored with my endo diet. I want to quit. I want to grab a handful of those pretzels on my countertop without a thought.

I want to be able to have the cake I am making for a friends baby shower. (wouldn't it be great if this was the one I was making? :))

I want to eat a sandwich, something I rarely did before this diet but somehow now want.

I want to have a glass of wine at the neighborhood bunko night.

I want to eat pizza at a pizza shop.

Yet when I think about the fact that I want to quit because I am bored I realize where I go wrong in so many areas of my life. I want to quit because thinking about what I have to eat and figuring out a new system for my life is no longer fun. It now feels like work. I haven't yet established a consistent habit in which I don't have to think about what I am eating. I don't want to think about it anymore so I am bored. Yet does that eliminate my reasons for doing it in the first place? Did I decide to try this diet because I thought it would be "fun"?

No follow through. That is my problem in life. I have lots of good ideas and I enthusiastically research and start them but then when they start to feel like work and I tell myself I am bored and I quit without ever reaping the full rewards of my efforts.

I need to tell myself the truth. The truth is, while it has required some work it hasn't been that hard. I do have to think a little more about what I can eat but the choices have been plentiful and delicious. I am not suffering. The truth is, I am actually feeling and seeing a difference in this diet. I feel good, have actually lost a couple of those pounds that have been sticking the past few years, and I feel like my mind is clearer than it has been in months if not a year or more.

My goal is to be very strict for 3 months and then allow myself a little more leeway, like a slice of cake at a baby shower. I am about half way through that time period. I just need to hold on and focus on how good I have felt the past few weeks and how good I will feel about myself when I have seen a project through to completion and have reaped the rewards. I just need to hang on.