Thursday, February 5, 2009

I'm Bored

I am bored with my endo diet. I want to quit. I want to grab a handful of those pretzels on my countertop without a thought.

I want to be able to have the cake I am making for a friends baby shower. (wouldn't it be great if this was the one I was making? :))

I want to eat a sandwich, something I rarely did before this diet but somehow now want.

I want to have a glass of wine at the neighborhood bunko night.

I want to eat pizza at a pizza shop.

Yet when I think about the fact that I want to quit because I am bored I realize where I go wrong in so many areas of my life. I want to quit because thinking about what I have to eat and figuring out a new system for my life is no longer fun. It now feels like work. I haven't yet established a consistent habit in which I don't have to think about what I am eating. I don't want to think about it anymore so I am bored. Yet does that eliminate my reasons for doing it in the first place? Did I decide to try this diet because I thought it would be "fun"?

No follow through. That is my problem in life. I have lots of good ideas and I enthusiastically research and start them but then when they start to feel like work and I tell myself I am bored and I quit without ever reaping the full rewards of my efforts.

I need to tell myself the truth. The truth is, while it has required some work it hasn't been that hard. I do have to think a little more about what I can eat but the choices have been plentiful and delicious. I am not suffering. The truth is, I am actually feeling and seeing a difference in this diet. I feel good, have actually lost a couple of those pounds that have been sticking the past few years, and I feel like my mind is clearer than it has been in months if not a year or more.

My goal is to be very strict for 3 months and then allow myself a little more leeway, like a slice of cake at a baby shower. I am about half way through that time period. I just need to hold on and focus on how good I have felt the past few weeks and how good I will feel about myself when I have seen a project through to completion and have reaped the rewards. I just need to hang on.

1 comment:

  1. You can do it! You know I am the same way, full throttle, then get bored and derail. We are both feeling good and seeing results...I ran 33 min. without stopping yesterday! We have to remember how good we feel when we are eating well and exercising!

    I am impressed with your internet savvy with this post with all the internet pics!