Escaping the Black Hole

This morning I couldn't get out of bed.  Yesterday I could barely drag myself out of bed.  It is dark and cold when my alarm goes off which clearly signals to my body that I need to continue sleeping.  Hibernation.

I knew this would happen when I started setting my alarm 6 months ago.  It is easy to spring out of bed at 6am when the sun is streaming in through the windows, the house is a comfortable 70 degrees and your whole life is new.  It is fun to go on a run just after sunrise but not so much in pitch dark.

Still today it felt like more.  It felt like a black hole.  I had spent the night before laying on the couch watching tv, then I went to bed before 10pm and I still can't get out of bed.  It felt like my life was being sucked into a black hole.

This is what happens when you loose your focus and don't have goals.  Nothing.  "What is it?" they asked in the Neverending Story. "The Nothing".  Do you remember that movie?  The nothing was taking over their land.  Now it is taking over my life.

OK, ok you know I have goals.  I always have goals.  But somehow I got off track and forgot what they were, stopped pursuing them.

So this morning when I woke up there was nothing to spring out of bed for.  I hadn't planned to go on a run, had no blog post thoughts, hadn't really sat down for an extended time with God in weeks and so it seemed like there was just no reason to get out of bed early.  I didn't care if the laundry needed to be caught up, the kitchen cleaned or the check book updated.  It would all get done when it had to be done and I just couldn't be excited about it at 6am when I knew my house was cold and covered in clutter I couldn't take care of in an hour.

But finally I got out of bed and started at the beginning.  Not the beginning of the laundry pile or dirty dishes but the real beginning.  I spent and hour with God.  My mind wandered a few times, it does that, but overall I managed to feel a little more hopeful than I did when that alarm went off.  Nothing life changing but the peace and hope that comes from the love of God which wraps its arms around me whenever I am feeling a little disconnected.

"Many are the woes of the wicked but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts Him."  Ps 32:10

Thankful

Anybody can write a post about what they are thankful for on Thanksgiving.  Boring.  I decided to wait until Sunday to tell you about all the things I am thankful for.  It was a busy week:

Number One:

My "41th" birthday was 2 days before Thanksgiving this year.  Isabelle came up with the idea to do a cornucopia with what they are each thankful for about me on each fruit for my birthday poster.  Loved it.

Which completes the birthday poster wall.  I don't normally have them up all year but somehow never got Isabelle's poster down after her birthday and then John and Jake's birthdays came right on top of each other and then it just seemed like I had to leave them up until my birthday.  But this is where the Christmas tree goes so they are gone now.

The day after my birthday I got a HUGE gift.  I won this contest:

Family Circle's Orlando Vacation Makeover Contest

"Write your travel challenge and you may be one of three families to win a customized Orlando dream vacation makeover with more than 100 experiences to select from. Each Grand Prize consists of a 5 day / 4 night trip to Orlando, FL for each winner and up to three (3) guests including RT airfare, hotel, attraction admissions and more."

I couldn't find a picture since the contest is over but here is a link to an article that looks like it was written about last years winners.

The important thing is that I WON THIS CONTEST!  I can't believe it.  I got the email while on my break at work and I was seriously shaking for about an hour or more afterward.  I was standing at my brother's desk when I read it and he asked me if I needed a bag to breath into!  I think I might need one right now as I re-tell you the story!  Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Thanksgiving day we all covered the chalk board with things we are thankful for.  Guess what my second thing I was thankful for after family, yep, Orlando trip.  Anyway, we headed to my parents for the big meal. 

It was a beautiful and unseasonably warm Thanksgiving day and I HAD to get pictures of our family because I came up with a great idea for our Christmas card theme this year.  Here is a little peak, can you guess what the theme is?

We took about 200 pictures and 60 of my favorite friends and family will get a photo card with the winning 6 photos but don't worry if you aren't one (or be offended) because they just have a link to my blog where I will be doing a detailed Christmas post like I did last year.  So keep an eye out.  I ordered the picture cards and will publish when I get them mailed out.

Random cute picture of my kids and my brother's kids on Thanksgiving.  Because I adore every single one and am thankful for them all and the wonderful close relationship the cousins have and I have with both my siblings and their families.  (And, yes mom, the relationship I have with my parents too.)

Finally after going to bed before Best Buy put their black Friday deals online Thursday and therefore missing the opportunity to skip standing in line in the cold, John and I set up shop 4 hours before the store opened at midnight Friday and relaxed in our camping chairs under blankets while sipping hot chocolate from McDonald's (the only place open) and watching netflix on John's phone.  We then entered the store at midnight, grabbed what we came for and were home and in bed by 12:20 having checked Jake and ourselves off the Christmas list.

The holiday was complete.

Can't wait to see what happens next...

So the new furnace is warming my house, we have stuck a  nail in the lost screw hole to fix the handle on the back door and are not thinking too much about the now totally broken garage door but are instead focussed on the snow begining to fall.  John is busy staking the edges of his plow contract driveways and getting the plow out of the broken garage.  Jake is supposed to go to a training pep rally for his Cutco sales job.  I am still in my pj's close to noon and busy washing all the bedding because while there is no evidence of lice in our home someone in Isabelle's class has lice and that just makes me want to scrub down the whole house.  I CAN NOT do another winter of lice.

Then Jake calls.  He has a flat tire.  And the spare is flat.  So I guess we can't avoid buying a new tire.  While we love our 300 I have to admit it has been a little more costly to maintain.  The tires are performance tires and you pay for them.  There is no $39.99 tire out there for this car.  Luckily while I decided to add free towing to this car when I was worring for my insurnace agent last winter.  Jake gave them a call to come get him while I made some calls to figure out where they should go.

Frugal Tip #3:  Used Tires

At first I thought I had found a deal with a coupon for buy 1 get the 2nd for $10.  Even with the $100 warranty you are required to buy with this deal it was still the cheapest tire I found.  But then John gave me the number of the used tire place.  Amazing deals, my tires for under $100!  Considering I am usually amazed to find them under $200 for this car that blew my mind.  3 new (to us) tires later (we did have one good tire on the car) and a fresh tire on the spare, Jake is ready for winter driving.  Well as ready as you can be with performance tires.  The tire guy managed to mention that this car was terrible for winter driving about 2 or 3 times.  We love it anyway.

What is amazing is how God has provided for all these expenses.  We have savings for the first time in about 2 years!  Even after all this it isn't tapped dry.  AND, yesterday with the snow coming down we had calls from 3 plow clients that hadn't yet re-signed with us.  One of them brought us 5 NEW CONTRACTS!  That will more than cover the tires.

So we continue on excited to see what will happen next and how God will take care of it.  Every step leads us closer to Him as we trust follow.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  34 So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. "

Now it is just getting funny...

So the furnace is getting replaced, the garage door has exploded and I am heading off to work.  Isabelle runs after me to get one more hug and as she grabs the outside handle of the back door it falls off in her hands.

I just laugh as I give her a hug and keep going.

And THEN...

So we are keeping warm with space heaters for the week enjoying a very sunny fall weekend while we wait for the new furnace to arrive.  John is working up a sweat outside cleaning up our fall leaves while I am working up a sweat getting the inside of the house back in shape after a week of neglect when it happens.  I hear a bang outside in the garage.  I am momentarily startled but don't think much of it.  If John was to get trapped under a pile of debris in our garage he would probably lay there for hours before I discovered him.  Poor guy.  Anyway, he was fine and continued to finish up the yard cleaning.  When he came inside he announced the new problem with our house.  The garage door is broken.  At first he couldn't get it to go all the way up and down and then suddenly it just banged down (the noise I heard) and it was over.  Apparently springs exploded and tracks are bent.  Luckily all our cars were in the driveway so while I knew I would need to get it repaired if i wanted to park inside this winter I kept my focus on getting heat in the house.  I can only worry about one thing at a time.

But then it happened.  It snowed.  And we realized something.  The plow is in the garage!  John and Jake did manage to get the garage door up and the plow out but then I heard another loud bang and John assures me it will not be going up again.  Frankly it barely went up in the winter anyway, I often had to get out of my car and help it along.  I sure hope my running into the garage door a couple times doesn't have anything to do with it breaking.

Frugal Tip #2: Sale at Menard's

I was looking on Craig's List for garage doors and there are some great deals but John found a new door on sale at Menard's as I was typing this post and we decided to go with it.  Still wondering if Craig's list might be a better way to go but the sale ends today.  Home Store Tip:  They are great about returns.  Buy now, return later.

So to be continued on what we actually end up doing with the garage door.  But wait!  There's more...

Never a Dull Moment

It was a regular day like any other.  A Tuesday.  And I came home from work just like usual.  John had dinner almost ready and I headed straight to my room to change into regular clothes.  As I was walking back to our room I made some comment about it being really cold back there.  It is fall and the temperatures were going back and forth between 30 and 60 each day.  John walks over to the thermostat and says, "that's not good."  Words you never want to hear when your furnace is over 20 years old.

The next day our friendly furnace repairman stops by and long story short red tags our furnace.  In other words, do not even try to turn this thing on.  It is too dangerous.  Suddenly understanding why Isabelle has been having headaches and feeling very blessed by the mild fall weather we have had.

Frugal Tip #1:  Order your furnace online and install it yourself

After talking to a couple friends that installed furnaces themselves we ordered a new one online for ridiculously cheap.  It arrived the Monday after our furnace went out.  Space heaters kept our bedrooms warmer than our furnace ever thought of keeping them during the 6 days in between.

The old furnace used to sit under the hood of this big duct.  John decided to take the opportunity to move it over a few feet and open up the space into the storage/work room.

The official red tag.  Actually still red unlike pink slips and green cards.

I think the look on his face pretty much sums the whole thing up.

Our friend Andy helping move over the gas line.

The new furnace.  Not done, the big vent hood still needs to go over the back.  John is at Home Depot as we speak.

And these wires are still hanging in the location of the old furnace.  Somehow thinking that isn't very safe.  But the house is nice and toasty warm and we are all breathing deeper confident the air is safe with our new CO detectors checking things out for us.

New problem:  These chairs used to be in the location where the new furnace now sits.  I see a storage room cleaning/organizing/rearranging coming on soon...

But that is not all, Oh no, that's not all.  Tune in tomorrow for the continuing saga...

New Direction

In my mind I always think I am going to plan, prepare and get all the I's dotted and T's crossed before I roll any new thing out.  But lets be honest.  I am totally impulsive and I go flying ahead without fully planning it out.  And while the other way might work well for some people this "learn and adjust as I go" method is what I know.  So here we go again.

I have been thinking a lot about what kind of web site I would like to create, many ideas have come to mind but the one that has stuck is the one most relevant to my life right now.  Transitioning from homemaker to working mom.  After doing a tiny amount of research I can assure you there is next to nothing on the subject out there.  Of course with 6 big months of working full time under my belt I am hardly an expert so I have been dismissing this idea for a couple  months but now that my brain is sort of starting to work again I have decided to tackle the topic.

I started a new blog over at here to discuss all the ups and downs, trials and errors of transitioning from homemaker to working mom and all the details that  need to be re-learned now that I work.  Intro post up, more to come.  Actually I will probably just re-write a few of the posts I have done here to start with while I do a little, teeny, tiny about of planning about what I want to write.

In the mean time I guess this will go back to being my blog for family stuff and any othe random thoughts that come to my brain.  In the past couple weeks I have really started to feel like my old self.  Which is good and bad, suddenly I am talking a lot more at work, which is bad, I don't have a good filter on my mouth sometimes.  But I also feel like I am started to re-engage at home and with friends and family more, which is good.

We have lots going on over here lately so I will try to write up a couple more posts today to publish while I am working this week.  Sorry to leave you hanging on the same post all of last week.

OH and while creating my new blog I discovered a new blog feature, email.  Now you can get my blogs emailed to your home.  How exciting!  I have a couple friends who have told me they will not go online to read my blog but if I emailed it to them they will. (These friends don't do facebook either.  Who are these people???) So I am totally signing them up!