In the book "Going on a Bear Hunt" the family on the hunt comes across obstacle after obstacle. Each time they say to themselves, "Can't go over it, can't go under it, I guess we are going to have to go through it." So it is with life. I certainly would like to navigate over or under this trial we are going through with Jake. I would like to skip the years of John's education and the trials of being a working mom it is bringing with it. But there is nothing to do but just go through it.
James 1:2, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds"
And as we go through we find ourselves learning, growing, conquering. We do persevere through our trials because we are strong. We are strong because God made us to be strong. To endure.
I have told many people, maybe even all of you, that if I could go back and get pregnant when Jake was 2 rather than suffering the pain of infertility I wouldn't. I would go back and suffer again. Not just because it has brought Isabelle into our lives but because I know how profoundly that experience has shaped who I am today. And I cannot imagine becoming this woman, the woman God made me to be and continues to shape, without that experience.
There have been other smaller trials that maybe didn't as significantly influence my life that I might not need but, still, I would keep them all because each one was an opportunity to turn to God and be drawn ever closer into His presence. Each trial is a pathway to growth and greater joy in our lives.
My son is experiencing a trial right now as we ask him to face the reality of his relationship. And while I hurt as a mother that he will have to suffer, I rejoice as the Lord works in his life and as we watch him grow and mature.
Going through a trial somehow feels like the beginning of his grown up years. Of the stage of my parenting where I don't get to protect and rescue my son but must now simply sit with him, watch, wait, suffer along if necessary, while God does His work and Jake learns his lessons. I know it will be hard but I am excited for him too. Just as I have always done, I place Jake in God's hands knowing there is no safer place.