I have been thinking lately about how going back to work is a lot like having a new baby. It takes up all your time and energy yet in your mind you think you should be doing all this other stuff and so are frustrated. You feel like you will never accomplish anything ever again. You look at other moms accomplishing things and are positive you are doing something wrong. But then one day the baby sleeps 5 hours in a row and you can't believe how fresh you feel and how clearly your mind is working. And then it does it again and pretty soon it does it all the time and slowly, one day at a time, one task at a time you begin to pull yourself together and find your way through this thing called motherhood.
I have decided these past 6 months have sort of been my newborn baby stage. I have been amazed and frustrated by how much time and energy this task has taken up both physically and mentally. Have been forced to release things I really loved because I just could not make them happen anymore. And I wondered if I would ever be able to go out in the real world again.
But my body is slowing adjusting to the early morning schedule and the work of the day. And I have learned my job to the point where I don't have to think quite so hard all the time. I am finding myself with more energy and creative thoughts returning.
And now I enter the next as yet unnamed phase of my work transition; the adding things back in stage (which is not a good name so I welcome suggestions for naming this stage.)
I know I want to work on building an online business; I don't mind my job but I know that this is not a long term solution for me or my family. (I am experimenting with the semi-colon today. I read about how to use it recently. Forgive me for over using it in this post.)
I stepped on the scale tonight to discover that I weigh 10 pounds more than I did when I started working 6 months ago. Not. Good. So I know I want to/need to re prioritize exercise and healthy eating into my life.
I also know that my life does not work if I don't start with prioritizing God and so I need to make sure I not only don't loose that but find ways to strengthen that relationship as I add things back into my life.
And of course I still want to spend time with my family and find ways to engage regularly with Jake, Isabelle and John.
Plus a million other little things that could easily over take my top priorities if I don't take an intentional approach to adding things to my schedule and life.
I have the day off from work on Friday. A floating holiday I didn't qualify to use until Dec 1 and will loose on Dec 31 if I don't use it. I thought about taking it while Isabelle is off school but decided instead to take a planning day; a day to pray, write, get in a little shopping and prepare for this next stage of working. (not sure if I used it correctly in this sentence.)
Of course just like parenting I know that 6 months from now I will be in yet another new stage but also like parenting I will bring with me the skills I have accumulated as I have gone through each stage and will be stronger and more prepared for what is ahead.
One thing hit me today. As I have been thinking specifically this past couple weeks about what kind of online business I want to start, how to make money blogging, and etsy ideas, I have been both excited and overwhelmed. When I do carve out time for it I don't know what to do first! What I realized is that while my enthusiasm is good it is also filled with a feeling of rushing, a slight panic. Like I only have 6 months to build a business. If I lost my job I could probably build a business in 6 months working full time but I am going to build a business on evenings and weekends while also spending time doing many other things. Yes I will have to say no to some things so I can work on the business but I also know I will need to say no to the business some times to watch my son wrestle, have lunch with my daughter or even just go on a run.
Then I remembered the quote I keep repeating as John walks down this long educational path, "most people over estimate what they can accomplish in a year and underestimate what they can accomplish in 10 years." I probably can't build a business in 6 months or a year that would equal what I am making right now but if I keep working, one day at a time, one weekend at a time and stay focused on the task I just might be able to accomplish my goal in 2 years or 3 years. Each day I keep working gets me one step closer to my goal.
And so we begin: Working, the adding in stage.--Do you see how this is not working as the name of this stage? The addition stage? Moving forward stage? I was releasing so am I now "collecting"? Maybe I should just not refer to this stage with a name. I could just call it "part 2".
I would also like to add that I accidentally ordered my $2 Caribou hot drink today without saying "decaf"! And so it is 11pm and I am still a little buzzed from my 1pm drink. This is what happens when you have been off caffeine for 15 years! I seriously want to run around the house yelling ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! But that would probably be wrong.
I should probably just end here.