Orlando: The Disney Experience

As promised some Florida Pictures:

Day one and two: Disney World

Our hotel was only about 5 miles from the parking lot for Magic Kingdom but, random trivia for those like me who haven't been there before, the parking lot is about 2 miles from the entrance to the  park.  First you take a tram and then you have a choice of a boat or monorail to take you the rest of the way.  In the end you don't have to do much walking to actually get into the park from your car which was good since we basically didn't sit down again until we left 10+ hours later.  We were exhausted but had a wonderful time.

In the front door we saw a line to get pictures with a few princess and decided to get that over right away.  Even though there was a line full of little girls all excited to meet them each princess talked with Isabelle as if she had nothing else going on in her life.  They all loved the pink feathers in her hair.

And there is the Cinderella's Castle.  Jake and Isabelle did a little puppetry while we were there.

Classic family picture.  The crane added a nice homey touch.

After those classic pictures we launched into a day of lines, rides and general chaos and fun.  We started the day with me reminding the whole family we were simply going to be present in the moment throughout the day and not get stressed out.  Of course I am the only one who forgot that at any point and so I had to stop several times and remind John to remind me to be present in the moment.  I want to do everything and tend to run my family like a crazy slave master trying to squeeze out every ounce of fun when what they really want to do is just sit down and enjoy the moment.  In the end that is all I want too.  Present in the moment.

Here we are enjoying a show we came upon as we were looking for our next adventure.  Isabelle was great about walking around all day but she got plenty of time in all our arms and on John and Jake's shoulders.  I particularly enjoyed the time with Jake and seeing him interact with our family.  His love for his sister and the easy way we all work together to move through the day.  He never complained but wasn't afraid to tell us what he needed whether it was food or a picture with a speeder from star wars.  I really saw that my little boy has become a young man who is ready to go out into the world but who will hopefully always have a little time to laugh with his mom as well.

The first day ended with a wonderful fireworks show, this time viewed from dad's shoulders.

And a $10 balloon.  Who doesn't need a $10 balloon at the end of the day?

Hollywood studios was a totally different experience than Magic Kingdom.  For one thing we had never been there so we didn't know what anything was, what the good things are, where to go or how to start.  In retrospect it wouldn't have killed me to pick up one of the millions of books on getting around Disney.  I immediately picked up a map and felt stressed.  We made a vague plan of how we would proceed but when we were less than half way through the map more than half way through the day I started to panic.  Then I remembered I was being present in the moment, took a breath and enjoyed the parts of that park we got to see not worrying about what we didn't do.

They had hula hoops out when we arrived and discovered that Isabelle has a previously unknown talent for hula hooping.

And we got in a few character pictures.

We spied the Mickey Mouse water tower on a back lot tour.

Isabelle wanted to pose like Minnie.

so, of course, I needed Jake to do the same.  Like so many other things that week he was a great sport trying to act like he didn't want to but enthusiastically participating anyway.

We saw Beauty and the Beast. Edited down to a 30 minute show it was pretty much just the top songs but wonderful and we enjoyed it.

We missed our opportunity to get a picture with Mickey when we were at Magic Kingdom and I told John that we could not leave Disney without the classic picture.  Shortly before the park closed we found the Mickey line, which was pretty short and got our picture.

And the Incredible's were there too.  Since this is possibly one of my favorite Disney movies ever we had to get in this line as well.  Frozone had John posing like a super.

Thus ending our 2 days at Disney.  It is a classic family experience I am glad we had and highly recommend but having gotten it out of our systems we were ready for the next adventure.

Stay tuned for further stories from Florida.

The Orlando Adventure

Today is day 5 of my 4 night/5 day prize trip to Orlando, Florida.  It is hard to believe it has come and will soon be over.  We have had a wonderful time and every single day I have been amazed and grateful by this prize and the gift it has been for our family.  Considering we never saved up enough money for a vacation like this when John was making the big bucks, there is no way we could take a vacation like this at this point in our life.  The tickets to Disney for 2 days and Kennedy Space Center were over $1000 alone.  Not to mention the airfare, car rental and this beautiful 2 bedroom condo.  I am sitting in the quiet living room drinking a glass of OJ I poured for myself in the kitchen while my family sleeps, something that doesn't usually happen when we cram ourselves into a hotel room.  I normally have to go sit in the hallway or lobby with my pj's on until they all wake up and come searching for me.

We are planning to make the most of this last day at the hotel by spending all morning at the pool.  Or at least that is Isabelle's plan.  Our initial plan had been to come back from Disney mid day for some swimming, relaxing and dinner before returning for the evening fun.  However, we were so busy doing stuff and having fun that we decided against that plan and instead had a snack and ate dinner at 9pm in our room.  Isabelle was distraught.  So she swam for about 15 minutes the next morning before we did Disney part 2.  And I soaked my tired legs in the hot tub that night.  Kennedy turned out to be an all day affair as well but we did get home by dinner and John took Isabelle down to the pool and was super Father by actually getting in the water despite the 65 degree weather and played with her for about an hour.  It was helpful in easing her pool demands but I am sure will emerge from her room with her swim suit on this morning and be ready to head down.  As much fun as Disney and Kennedy Space Center were they really could have saved the money and just let us hang out at the pool all week.  I know Isabelle would have been just as happy with that.

But that is what the next 3 days are about.  We are heading down to see my parents on Marco Island this afternoon, hopefully arriving by dinner time.  And it is pretty much always 80 degrees and sunny down there so we are looking forward to Isabelle spending even more time in the pool and walking on the beaches and just relaxing and enjoying the sun and surf.

Each day I remind myself and the family that we are going to be present in the moment.  We are going to enjoy what we are doing and not worry about what is next.  Easier said than done when you are at Disney and there are a million things to do and you are trying to do them all.  Much easier said than done when you are 6 years old and your parents promised you would go back to the hotel to swim and then changed their minds.  Easier said than done when you are driving a strange car in the dark and don't know where you are going.  Easy when you are Jake, if only he was present with us instead of virtually with his girlfriend...

Still for the most part we have done well, we have laughed together, prayed together, shared meals together, experienced new things together.  It has been great.  I have been blessed to see my son being mature, helpful, excited, engaged, and often very present with our family.  He is not a little boy anymore and it has been wonderful to spend time with this young man.  I have enjoyed lots of snuggle time with my daughter, seeing the joy in her face at talking with the Disney princesses, discovering that she would rather be watching stunt car racing than go to the Muppet's ride and confirming she is a thrill seeker who loved Space Mountain. (And the whole family laughing because I turned out to be the one screaming the whole ride.)

I usually  think vacations will be times of introspection.  I will read, think about my future, plan for our return.  I am a little nerdy and think those things sound fun.  But vacations are more active than that.  They aren't at all about our real life, planning and preparing for day to day life, it is about escape, it is about living a different life for a few days.  A life where you don't have any other responsibilities, no worries, no homework, no job, no house to clean or meals to cook (unless you want to).  I have discovered that vacations are about being present in this moment with the people you love and loving every minute of it.  And I am inexpressibly grateful we get to do that.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes 5:18

(I left the cord for my camera at home so I can't upload any pictures on the trip but I promise to do a whole post of pictures when I return.)

Because Nobody Told Me I Couldn't

Several years ago, before the real estate market bubble burst, John and I read some books about real estate investing and decided we needed some rental property.  We were thinking duplex but then I heard the commercial building my mother in law works in was for sale.  I happened to be acquainted with the owner since I had worked there before her and so I decided to ask him if he would be willing to talk to John and me about buying it.

Of course the fact that we had less than $1000 in the bank and he had the building up for $700,000 was not concerning to me at all because I had  no idea what I was doing.

Somehow after talking with us he agreed to negotiate an offer with us.  So I called a commercial lender that a friend recommended and started the paper work.  After agreeing on a price the owner asked for 10% down.  So I called the loan officer.  He asked why the guy wanted it and suggested we offer $1000 down so I did and the owner accepted.  Then we could only get a loan for $500,000 so I asked the owner to finance the rest of the loan for us.  And he agreed.  Then we needed $20,000 in closing costs.  The loan officer asked us how we were going to pay.  I asked him what he suggested and he said to ask the owner again.  So I asked the owner if he would also finance the closing costs.  He agreed again.

And so we bought a 100 year old commercial building with 3 retail and 3 office tenants for $1000 and it cash flowed nearly $2000/month for the first year and a half we owned it.  After that taxes went up, a main tenant left and another main tenant decided to be unreliable on his rent payments, Isabelle was born and I decided I would rather manage her than a bunch of high maintenance tenants so we put it on the market and 3 years after buying it sold it for way more than we paid.  I will probably never see a check that big with my name on it again.

At the time my brother was also a real estate investor (still is) and selling residential mortgages.  He couldn't believe what we did and told his boss about it.  They laughed about it and his boss said we were able to do it because, "Nobody told them they couldn't."

For every good idea you have there is a line of well meaning friends, family and business professionals ready and waiting to tell you why it won't work.  They don't know they are crushing your dreams and hindering your chances of success, they think they are protecting you from the disappointment of failure.

But failure isn't a bad thing.  When we bought the building we knew we were taking a big risk.  But I asked myself, what is the worst thing that could happen?  The conclusion I came to is that we might have to declare bankruptcy and loose our house.  But we could still work and we would be able to re-build and we decided that worst case scenario was something we were willing to risk.

While overall owning the building was a very good thing for us, there was a level of failure involved as well.  I had no idea what I was doing when we bought the place.  I agreed to some leases that really were not in our best interest and I waited too long to seek help and really learn the business.  If I had known what I was doing or sought help right from the start we might still be making $2000/month doing part time property management.  But without that failure, without making those mistakes, I could not have learned that lesson.

Why are we so afraid of failure?  I have written previously about overcoming my fear of failure during a life changing month of snowboarding lessons.  Still, at the beginning of any new endeavor there is fear of failure.  Fear of screwing up and looking stupid.  And really fear of all the people who never tried anything new but sill stand in judgement of you when you fail.

The good news is that behind every successful person you can find a story of failure.  Before Thomas Edison invented the light bulb he failed 1,000's of times but is famously quoted for saying, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."  Success does not come about because you made no mistakes but because you learned from those failures and pressed forward.  Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, Elvis Presley was told he couldn't sing, but they both believed in themselves and did not let a few failures stop them from pursuing their dreams.

So I continue to work on starting an online business.  I am taking the lesson I learned from the building and taking some time to learn about Internet marketing.  But I am also stepping forward with a belief that I will not fail and that I can do this.  And while the first thing I pursue may or may not make me money it will not be a failure but just another step toward success.

Getting Ready

Less than a week from today I will be basking in the Florida sunshine.  I can't believe it! 

As we have saved all our Christmas money, birthday money and side jobs who paid cash money over the past couple months to cover our incidental expenses while we are gone, I am in awe of what a gift this trip is.  I truly can't imagine how we would ever take this trip if I hadn't won it from Family Circle Magazine.  We love to travel but have never had the discipline to actually save significant money for vacations.  As a result we do weekend camping trips or stay at friends cabins.  We have only taken a full week vacation twice since Jake was in Kindergarten.  One was a trip to California and Disneyland, the other was our Kenya trip a couple years ago.  So spending 8 days in Florida in the middle of winter is a pretty big deal for us.

As with everything we do these days, my working changes the way we prepare for a trip.  Normally I would wait until Thursday or Friday to pull out suitcases and would spend an entire day preparing the family for the trip, pulling out our more summery clothes,doing laundry, shopping for supplies and, of course, cleaning the house because I hate leaving a dirty house and hate more coming home to a dirty house. 

Instead, I will spend much of today, Sunday a week before the trip, pulling out suitcases and pulling down the summer clothes from Isabelle's closet.  I will be trusting Jake and John to help with the house cleaning this week because we all know, "if mama ain't happy, nobody happy".  And throughout the week the suitcases will sit open in our bedrooms as we slowly fill them up one day at a time.

Just one more thing we are learning to do different now that I am working.  But nearly 8 months into my working full time I am really seeing the family begin to work together and get things done.  It is hard at times to let go of control and share responsibilities but each time I do I am blessed.  So I am confident when we get on the airplane next Saturday we will be fully ready for the adventure that awaits us.

Athlete in training

Isabelle has started gymnastics.  She was way beyond excited when I told her on Christmas day that she would be starting lessons in one week.  She has now had 2 lessons and is loving it but I have noticed something interesting.  She gets home crabby and exhausted.  When I watch her going through the skill building tasks of walking on a balance beam, doing backward rolls on mats and swinging from bars I only see the fun she is having but I realized after the first lesson, she just did a 1 hour workout!  When I have worked out for 1 hour I feel great but I am also exhausted and desperate for food.

I know people always talk about keeping kids active but it wasn't until this moment, seeing how tired Isabelle was after an hour of active play, that I realized how important it is, how much down time she has.  And I became even more excited about having her involved in a sport.

We aren't really a sports family.  Jake did baseball for a number of years but I think the dad's coaching Jake were a little relieved when we finally stopped signing him up.  We didn't really care that he wasn't good, we didn't spend our evenings and weekends working to help him improve, and he didn't really care that he wasn't good but kept asking to play because he was having fun.  This kind of attitude doesn't garner a lot of admiration in team sports circles.  Which I think is why Jake has enjoyed wrestling so much.  While there is a team, when it comes right down to the match, it is all about him.  Does he want to win and what kind of effort is he going to put in?  Which seems to be much more motivating to Jake. He won't be a college wrestler, he won't be going to state.  But he is having fun.  He is learning how to work out his body, be healthy and active.  And that is what I want my children to get out of their time in sports.

I would love it if Isabelle really clicked with gymnastics and shot to super stardom.  We are enjoying watching my niece, the future Olympic athlete, master the sport of swimming as she accumulates wins in increasingly large circles, from local to state to regional competitions.  We are proud and excited for her future.  But Isabelle might not be that motivated, she might just want to have fun and be happy to simply show off a back  handspring to her friends occasionally.

Since that day I ran out our back door 7 years ago and began my career as an adult onset athlete I have learned a lot about why it is important to have your children in sports.  As I have become more disciplined, learned to focus, achieved goals, pushed through to the finish line, I have been able to take those same skills into my day to day life.  I have taken chances I would never have taken before, I have tried new things that would have scared me to much before, I have felt a strength I didn't know was possible.  I have seen myself succeed and found it to be a high worth chasing in other areas of my life.  I have seen what I can do in one area of my life and believe I can do it in other areas as well.  I have believed in myself.

When Jake was little it really didn't seem like a big deal that he wasn't involved in a sport but today, having seen how my life has changed simply by running out my back door, I can't imagine not raising Isabelle to be active and involved in some sport.

So I continue to work out on a regular basis to keep my health and mental stability strong and am enjoying watching Isabelle develop the endurance necessary to be physically active throughout her life.  Whether it is as a gymnast or some other activity I know the reward will be worth the effort.

We can still be friends

I had a revelation the other day.  I was my son's first girlfriend and he has totally broken up with me!  Now he wants to be "just friends" and I am having a hard time transitioning into my new role. 

I shared this creepy tidbit with my husband who is fresh out of Psychology 101 and he affirmed my thought telling me this is exactly what Freud was talking about.  Not in the inappropriate Oedipus way but there is a special mother/son bond.

When you think about it I was the first girl in his life.  He shared his thoughts and feelings with me, I listened to him, encouraged him, loved him.  I taught him how to treat a woman with respect, how to open doors for me, cradle my arm in the crook of his elbow and help me on with my coat.

I thought we were getting along just fine.  I never saw it coming.

Then one day another girl came into his life and suddenly he was sharing all his thoughts and dreams with her.  He was spending time with her and taking her thoughts and encouragement more seriously than mine.  And there she was benefiting from all my hard work of molding him into the wonderful man that he is.

What did I do wrong?  Or did I do it right?

Isn't this what we are supposed to do as parents?  Train them, teach them, help them grow and then let them go.  I must admit that the reality of that last part, let them go, is really becoming more and more real to me as we get closer and closer to the end of high school and I realize 6 months from now we will be packing up all his stuff and moving him out.  This is what I have been doing the last 17-1/2 years, preparing for this moment to come.  And he is ready.  Although half of me wants to lock him in a closet and hold on to him a little longer the other half knows I have done my job and it is time to release him.  And in the end I will listen to that other half.

So now that he is ready, I guess it is time to get myself ready.

So I am working on learning to be "just friends" and trusting that I have raised him, loved him and encouraged him to go out and make choices for himself in relationships and life that continue the work I have begun in him.

Seeing the future

You know how at the end of a particularly challenging stage of life you are able to look back and see how it all worked out and how God took care of you?  And you know how you wish you weren't so stressed, full of discontentment and argumentative about the process but instead enjoyed the ride, enjoyed watching God put it all together and bringing you exactly where you needed to be exactly when you needed to get there?

Or is that just me?

So the other day I was feeling stressed, discontent and argumentative about the process we are in.  And I decided I HAD to cut down to 30 hours a week.  But of course when I looked at our budget it seemed more like I needed a second job than less hours.  And that made me feel a little crazy, trapped, frustrated, helpless, hopeless.  And frankly I wanted to figure out how to get out of this crazy path we got ourselves on.  Rewind!  I want to go back to the beginning!

I heard someone say once that if everyone put their problems in a pile and you could choose any problem you wanted out of the pile you would go back and choose your own.  I know my problem, I know how to deal with it.  I know how to be at home and broke, to struggle with self employment, encourage my husband to keep going through a bad economy.  I don't know how to be a working mom, and still be broke, and encourage my husband with his education and work, to help my daughter grow to be a godly woman when I am not there to observe her behavior and redirect.  I feel like I am having to re-define who I am.  I liked who I was before.  Even if it wasn't working for our family anymore.  Do I really have to change?

When I am in the middle of something I don't like I often think about the other side.  When we were waiting to have a second baby I would often imagine announcing I was pregnant or, later, telling people we had been chosen by a birth family.  I would think about holding her in my arms.  It reminded me that I was going somewhere and that this moment is not permanent.

And so it is with this, I often think about the other side.  When I am able to quit my job to run my little online business.  When John is a practicing PA.  When this short but important time in our life is over.  And since I have experience getting through these stages I know that when they are over I will wish I didn't fight it so much.  I will wish I had enjoyed the process more.

Yet as I talked with God I found myself justifying my stress because it caused action and obviously I needed to do something!  And I felt He challenged me to take action without the stress.  To trust Him to lead me to what I needed to do and lead me away from what I did not need to do.  And that sounds a little challenging.

OK as I am writing this I felt called to read my "Jesus Calling" devotion for the day.  Today is about being victorious in Christ.  Here are a couple relevant parts,

"I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach.  You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal.  Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me.  It is a faithwalk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need.  This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures.  However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me."

"It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me."


See I told you this book was written just for me!  So I am thinking that instead of allowing my stress to dictate my actions I should allow my reliance on God to dictate my actions. (Act, my word of the year, is part of the word action.  Has anyone else noticed that?)

Today I am going to imagine going through this process relying on God instead of my own strength.

2 Cor 5:7 "We walk by faith, not by sight."