Solid Yellow Lines

In the book "Body by God" the author not only talks about fitness and nutrition but also stress and time management because he feels to have the body God created us to have we must address all aspects of the body and what affects it.

One concept he talks about is drawing "solid yellow lines", like on a road, around various aspects of our life.  Priorities.  So, for instance, he has his quiet time in the morning and no matter what he doesn't see patients, check email or play with his kids during that time.  That is his time with God.  But the same is true of the time he spends with patients, family or writing.

Now I Personally feel a little stifled by this idea and like the guy must be a little high strung type A personality.  That is serious structure.   But I do have a girlfriend who is really good at this type of thing and I have experienced this structure as I have viewed her life.  She is always aware of keeping a balance taking time with each child regularly, managing the home efficiently and carving out time for work and personal indulgences without feeling guilt because she knows her priorities are not being neglected.

It would be easy for me to dismiss my girlfriend as a nutty type A as well but I can't help wonder if there isn't something to this idea worth exploring in my own life now that I am working.

In some ways being at home creates its own challenges with keeping priorities.  You have so much unstructured time you think you can get it all done with no planning.  Yet you can be home with your kids all day and never really spend time with them, never get around to cleaning or making dinner or organizing, or...There is always something ready and waiting to pull you away from responsibilities and skew priorities.

For me, as I have observed this practice in my girlfriend over the years, what I see is an ability to enjoy each task in her life without saying any, "I should be...".  She knows she will be spending the evening doing certain activities with her daughter, for instance, so she is free to spend the afternoon working on her own projects without any guilt.  She knows when her house will be cleaned and what is for dinner so she can totally focus on the task before her.  Totally present in each moment of her life.

That is the aspect of drawing lines around tasks that I want to experience.

So that is what I am working on figuring out and organizing this week. Since I am not particularly type A in my approach to life I won't be creating a permanent structure but more of a loose concept in which we as a family are aware of the priorities and look to see they are happening each week in some way.  And with that confidence I can be fully involved in my life and relationships and not worry about what is falling through the cracks.

It is slowing coming together at our house.

Giving thanks for a first month

I have been working for one entire month now.  I won't lie, the transition has been HARD.  Still we accomplished the goal of not crying last week (both me and Isabelle) and today I am sitting outside enjoying a perfect 4th of July afternoon while getting paid.  Amazing.

I am sure we will continue to transition throughout the summer but I am happy to report that I can now stay up past 9pm, our freezer is full of potential dinners, Isabelle lets me out the door in the morning without much fanfare, I am starting to understand my job and the people I work with are all extremely nice.

All change can be hard but there is still so much to be thankful for:

• After a month of rain and clouds the sun has found Minnesota!
• A beautiful wall of windows to look out every day.
• Sitting in front of a gorgeous limestone countertop all day long.
• A really great boss who knows what needs to get done but is casual and laid back like me.
• Patient co-workers teaching me the ropes.
• Morning snuggles on the couch with my little girl.
• Family willing to spend time with Isabelle regularly while I work.
• Cousins who are friends (mine and my kids)
• A husband who steps up to help out as I transition.
• Working air conditioner and a quick response repair man.
• Years at home to create memories with my daughter and son.
• Being a parent for 17 years to a wonderful young man.
• A 34 on the ACT.  Yes he is a genius.
• Morning runs
• The community 4th of July parade.
• Loosing the winter white hanging at the lake.
• Dental insurance and comprehensive health insurance.  Lots of doctor appointments will be made this week!

 

Window Office

Just in case you were wondering about the view from my desk.  Here is a terrible picture taken with my phone:

Yep, I am living the life. 

Window office.

I love Mondays

Have I ever told you how much I love Mondays?  I know it may sound like a sickness but I really do.  Mondays are like January 1st or the first day of school.  They are that fresh start every week.  A chance to start over and do it right.  This week I will do more, learn, organize, prioritize, and put it all together!  This week my life will come together, make sense.  I will be a better person, grow and become who God meant me to be.  Mondays are full of possibilities as the whole week looms ahead.  What wonderful surprises are waiting for me this week?

When I was at home it sort of made sense to love Monday.  Everyone goes back to work and I can get the house back in order, run to the mall without the crowds or anything else I wanted to.  The week was mine for the taking.  I was afraid when I started working I would find myself hating Mondays like everyone else.  I mean hating Monday is practically a national past time.  But as I am about to start week 4 of working I have to say I am still excited for Monday. Not because I am excited to work but because since I have to work I am excited about the fresh opportunity that Monday brings me.

Weekends are fun and my love for them is renewed as I work.  But life happens in the everyday and if I'm not just as enthusiastic about the daily as I am about the fun then I have a long depressing life ahead of me.

We're All in it Together

Planning summer childcare has been like organizing a 3 ring circus.  We ended up with a big wall calendar in Isabelle's room so each night before she goes to bed she can cross of the current day and see who she will be with the next day.  It has greatly improved her stress level.  I think she was in constant panic of being left alone before the calendar.

Of course you make a plan and immediately your sitters go on vacation.  So Jake and my sister-in-law were both gone last week.  As I was in search of replacement sitters I was talking with Isabelle's birth mother about when we could see them during their visit since I would be working.  On a whim I asked if she wanted to take Isabelle one of the afternoons I needed a sitter for, Isabelle was in VBS in the mornings.  She said they could take 2 of the days.  We were all very excited and a little nervous but it went great.
It is hard to explain how blessed we feel to have Sam and Lauren as birth parents.  They are loving both to Isabelle and to us.  We are a team in some ways as Isabelle grows up.  We all have shared goals to see her grow up to be a godly woman, to help her understand how blessed she is to have both parents and birth parents who love her and want the very best for her life.

Now they are going to be parents again this fall and we are so excited.  We are re-defining family as this child will be a full sister to Isabelle.  While technically I will not be related at all you won't be able to stop me and everyone else in my family from loving up this baby as if she was another niece. 

Today we broke another barrier in our adoption adventure by attending Lauren's family and friend baby shower.  Some family had never seen Isabelle while others hadn't seen her since she was only a few weeks old.  They have all followed along with pictures but it isn't the same as a real live visit.  The last time we met Lauren's family nobody knew how this was all going to work out but 6 years later we all know this is going to work out just fine.  We are all family brought together by Isabelle and for better or worse we are all in it together.

With Lauren's Family

Isabelle showing the gift she chose for her sister.

More Family

Chasing Wild Geese

Do you think working will suck the creative juices out of my brain?  I have had no particularly profound thoughts all week.  With the initial adjustment period over my brain has moved into some sort of survival mode.  I don't think about anything at work and I am too tired or busy to think of anything when I get home. 

OK I have had a couple thoughts this week but nothing I have had time to really think about.  Just things that pop into my head.

I guess that could be the topic of the day.  Normally when a thought pops in my head, like maybe an idea we should buy a farm and become homesteaders, I will immediately change all plans to spend the next day or two researching and obsessing about the topic until I have either decided to do it or decided to abandon it.  On Tuesday an idea popped into my head but it wasn't until last night that I was able to do anything about it.  I told John about it and he thought the thought was valid but I couldn't pursue beyond that.  And even still I didn't have time to be comprehensive last night so it will take time to made a decision about that thought.

So yesterday as I was mulling at work the fact that I could do nothing about this thought I wondered if maybe it would help stem some of my crazier thoughts.  I mean when time is limited you can't go off on every wild goose chase.  I will be forced in the years to come to really think through my impulses and assess what is a valid idea and what is not worth my time.  That could be a good thing. 

It is possible that not everything I did when I was at home was necessarily the best or mentally healthiest way to do things.  Interesting.

New Homemaking Skills

When I first became a homemaker at age19 I have to admit I was pretty bad. Technically I knew how to clean, cook, do laundry, etc but practically I had no idea how to put it all together and maintain a home.  So we did the wash when we had no clothes, vacuumed when the floor was covered with visible food and thought that Uncle Ben's Broccoli Rice Au Gratin was a meal not a side dish.  5 years later when I quit working to stay home with Jake I had a little bit of a system but still had a lot to learn.  I was still mostly reacting to homemaking and had absolutely no sense of style or decor knowledge.  I have always been a minimalist and like rooms picked up and I am organized.  That was all I had going for me as a homemaker.  Everything else I have picked up along the way over the last 16 years.

Tonight, as I look over my mostly picked up but not particularly clean and slightly chaotic home I realize in some ways I am back at square one of homemaking trying to figure out how to make it all work within the confines of my new normal.  I will need to decide what is a priority and what I will let go.  I will need new systems for keeping track of tasks, papers, and children.

Before I started I imagined that maybe I would figure out how to justify hiring someone to clean my house once a month.  But only 2 weeks in I already know I am going to want that extra money to go to making up meals at Let's Dish or ordering my groceries online.  Put side by side I would much rather do my own vacuuming than start dinner at 5:30 after a long work day or worse yet stop by the grocery store on the way home.

I am often complimented for being a good homemaker.  I am here to tell you I don't have any special formula or magic potion, I just have a system and I follow it every day.  It may take time to create and integrate a new system in my new life but I am confident with the help of my family we can find that new system and be on top of our home once again.

And, I am learning at work that being in the habit of repetitious work it definitely going to be to my advantage.  I do the same things every day.  Could be boring but I am going with peaceful, relaxing, fulfilling.  And if you could remind me of that when I start using the word "boring" I would really appreciate it.